12 Signs You’re The Selfish Partner In Your Relationship
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Every relationship is founded upon respect, empathy, and compromise. But at times, without even acknowledging it, the individual needs can overshadow the needs of others. This unspoken shift can create an imbalance, leading to silent tension. “… when love turns into one way traffic with selfishness as the only passenger, the heart start to carry the burden of not paying attention…” – Dionne Eleanor.
Selfishness can manifest in various ways within a relationship, and it’s essential to recognize these patterns. If you identify with any of these 12 signs in your relationship, it may be time to cultivate greater self-awareness and consider taking proactive steps.
Needing Undivided Attention and Adoration
Healthy relationships are based on supporting one another; however, nobody should be the be-all and end-all for your overall needs. Even for your spouse, it becomes exhausting if you need more and more attention from them.
Understand your worth and derive a sense of satisfaction from within that is not focused on external validation.
Failure to Acknowledge Your Mistakes
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” No one is perfect, and making mistakes in relationships is natural. Nevertheless, consistently deflecting blame or refusing to acknowledge your role in a conflict shows a lack of accountability and responsibility.
Take ownership of your actions and work towards resolving conflicts with maturity and understanding.
Lack of Empathy
“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.” Consistently invalidating your partner’s feelings or failing to consider the impact of your actions is a significant red flag.
You need to give emotional support and be understanding in relationships. Once you become more empathetic, it will drastically change the quality of your connection.
Prioritizing Your Needs Over Theirs
A healthy relationship navigates the delicate balance between individual needs and shared interests. Constantly prioritizing your desires over your partner’s can breed resentment.
Recognizing when you’re selfish and consciously striving to care for your partner’s needs is essential. This equilibrium supports feelings of trust and mutual respect.
Difficulty Compromising
Consensus refers to the resolution and compromise between both parties in a given relationship. If you struggle to meet your partner in the middle or want to do things/control things yourself, you could end up driving a wedge in your relationship. Learning to agree shows respect for your partner’s experiences and a willingness to stretch within a relationship conceptually.
Dr. John Gottman, one of the world’s leading relationship experts, says, “Compromise is essential for a successful marriage.” You are the Selfish Partner If — You Find it Hard to Meet Your Partner Halfway or You Always Want Things To Go your Way
Ignoring Their Interests and Activities
If you show no interest or try to discourage a partner from doing what they love, it means that there is not enough support. Make time to participate in what they do and support their passions.
This will bring you closer, strengthen your bond with them, and show your concern for their happiness.
Making Decisions Without Consulting Them
A selfish partner will not consider their partner’s input during decisions. This type of behavior can make your partner feel isolated and dispensable.
It is vital to have open communication and value your partner’s opinion in decision-making. This way, both partners feel respected and valued in the relationship.
Frequent Arguments Over Your Behavior
If arguments in your relationship focus on what you do, that signifies selfish actions. Communication is key in any healthy relationship, and when you stop talking to each other like before and instead argue all the time, it could be a clear indication that one or both of you feel neglected.
Reflect on what causes those conflicts and adjust your approach to address their concerns. Many problems can be fixed if we just talk to each other and/or accept change.
When Your Partner Has an Opinion That Is Not the Same as Yours, You Disengage
A couple in a good relationship can express ideas or any thought when voicing their opinion without judgment. If you close off or withdraw when your partner expresses a differing opinion from yours, you are not respecting their point of view.
Remain open and engaged, willing to have productive discussions about differing opinions.
Expecting Them to Always Make Sacrifices
If you demand that your partner consistently accommodate departures from their comfort or desires for the sake of yours, this stops being fair. Try to have a give-and-take, for both people must sacrifice at varying times.
Both of these efforts show that you care equally for each other.
Jealousy Over Their Success
Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Jealousy of your partner’s accomplishments is often a result of insecurity and selfishness.
It is a problem if you feel jealous instead of happy for their success. Enjoy their success and help them grow. This attitude strengthens your bond and builds respect for each other.
Not Taking Responsibility for Household Tasks
Of course, partnerships are built on shared labor; selfish behavior can manifest as a once-reliable housemate shirking their share of domestic duties. You do not help out, and the burden of completing all household chores or running errands falls on your partner.
This is unfair and a massive disrespect to the amount of time and effort your partner puts in. Balance workload and lend a hand when possible.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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