Table manners go beyond the surface level of utensils and plates. Your behavior at the table communicates your understanding of etiquette and your awareness of the dining experience. Knowing proper table manners can significantly enhance your social and professional presence.
A survey of 2,000 diners by Italian restaurant Prezzo reveals that more than half of Gen Z (60 percent) feel that traditional manners are no longer important. The survey also found that 32% of people of all ages never think about their table manners. These 17 rules show your attention to detail and respect for the dining environment.
Keep Your Phone Hidden
Placing your phone on the table during a meal can signal to your dining companions that you value your device more than their company. Keeping your phone out of sight allows you to focus on the conversation and shows respect for those around you.
Having your phone at the table is also unhygienic. A study from the University of Michigan found that phones are ten times dirtier than toilet seats. If you’re expecting an important call, inform your companions in advance and excuse yourself from the table if necessary.
Place Your Napkin on Your Lap
The napkin is a subtle yet important tool in formal dining. As soon as you’re seated, placing your napkin on your lap is customary, signaling you’re ready to begin the meal. In formal settings, waiting for the host to place their napkin before you follow suit is polite.
When leaving the table temporarily, place the napkin on your chair rather than on the table. This simple gesture helps maintain a clean and orderly appearance at the table.
Chew with Your Mouth Closed
Though it may seem obvious, chewing with your mouth closed is one of the most commonly overlooked table manners. It is more visually appealing and prevents food from accidentally flying out while you talk.
Speaking while chewing can be unpleasant for those around you and may even present a choking hazard. Taking small bites and allowing yourself to chew thoroughly before joining the conversation is important. This habit creates a more pleasant atmosphere for everyone at the table.
Use Utensils, Not Fingers
Some foods, like bread or wings, are designed to be eaten with your hands, but most dishes should be enjoyed with utensils in formal settings. Using your fingers to eat dishes like pizza or sandwiches may be acceptable in casual environments, but upscale settings call for a more refined approach.
When eating Italian food, nearly half (49%) of Brits say eating pizza with their hands is the right thing to do, while over a third (36%) admit to using a knife and fork when eating pizza in a restaurant.
Don’t Reach Across the Table
Stretching across the table to grab an item can disrupt the meal and intrude on others’ space. Reaching over someone’s plate is considered rude, as it invades their dining area. Instead, you should politely ask for the item to be passed to you.
If you pass items yourself, offer them to the person on your right, following the correct direction. This simple action reflects a polite and respectful dining attitude, making the experience more enjoyable.
Wait for Everyone to Be Served
It’s polite to wait for all guests at the table to be served before you begin eating. This ensures everyone can start the meal together, fostering community and respect. If the meal takes a long time, the host may encourage you to start so your food doesn’t get cold.
However, in formal settings, you should generally wait for the host to begin eating before you do. By showing patience and consideration, you contribute to a more enjoyable group dining experience.
Use Your Napkin Properly
A napkin is useful for maintaining cleanliness throughout the meal. Use it discreetly to dab your mouth as needed, ensuring you remain neat without drawing attention. Avoid using your napkin for non-dining purposes like removing lipstick or blowing your nose; excuse yourself to the restroom for such tasks.
When you are finished with the meal, fold your napkin loosely and place it to the left of your plate. Proper napkin use signals good manners and respect for the dining environment.
Pace Yourself with Others
Maintaining a steady eating pace that aligns with those around you is important. Finishing too quickly can make others feel rushed, while finishing too slowly may cause discomfort for those waiting. If you notice you’re eating faster than others, engage in conversation to slow yourself down.
If you’re behind, try to catch up while remaining mindful of your eating habits. Keeping a balanced pace shows consideration for everyone’s comfort at the table.
Maintain Good Posture
According to a survey by restaurant group Prezzo, 77% of Gen Z diners didn’t care if people put their elbows on the table, and 60% couldn’t care less about how someone holds their silverware. Sitting up straight at the table conveys attentiveness and respect for those dining with you.
While eating, keep your elbows off the table, but resting your forearms on the edge between courses is acceptable. Good posture also improves digestion and allows for better conversation. A strong presence at the table begins with proper posture.
Avoid Talking with Your Mouth Full
Talking with your mouth full is a common yet frowned-upon breach of etiquette. It makes it hard to understand you and poses the risk of food spilling out. The Italian restaurant Prezzo survey showed that 48% of people were irked by loud chewing.
If you’re asked a question while chewing, a simple gesture such as holding your finger can signal that you’ll respond after swallowing. Taking the time to finish your bite before speaking makes the conversation more pleasant and clear.
Engage in Polite Conversation
Mealtime is often a social opportunity, so engaging in polite conversation is key. Avoid discussing controversial or uncomfortable topics, which can disrupt the pleasant atmosphere. Instead, focus on inclusive and light-hearted topics that encourage everyone at the table to participate.
Avoid dominating the conversation or speaking too loudly, especially in a formal setting. Polite conversation enhances the dining experience and creates a comfortable environment for all.
Handle Accidents Gracefully
Even with the best intentions, accidents can happen during a meal. If you spill something or drop a utensil, remain calm and handle the situation discreetly. Apologize briefly, and clean the area if possible without making a fuss.
If the spill is significant, alert a server for assistance. Handling accidents gracefully shows maturity and consideration for your dining companions, minimizing disruption.
Respect Dietary Restrictions
Many people have dietary restrictions in modern dining due to allergies, health reasons, or personal choices. It’s important to respect these limitations without making a spectacle of them. If you’re hosting, inquire about guests’ restrictions in advance to accommodate their needs.
As a guest, notify the host beforehand to avoid surprises during the meal. Respecting dietary preferences fosters an inclusive and considerate dining environment.
Use Serving Utensils
When food is served from a communal dish, always use the provided serving utensils to avoid cross-contamination. Never use your utensils to take food from a shared plate; this is considered unhygienic.
If no serving utensils are available, politely ask for them before serving yourself. Using the proper utensils shows respect for hygiene and others’ comfort, which is particularly important in formal or large group settings.
Excuse Yourself for Important Calls
Excuse yourself from the table before answering when a call is urgent. Inform your companions in advance if you’re expecting a call to avoid disrupting the meal. Step away to a private area to take the call, and return only when you’re finished.
Keeping phone usage discreet preserves the flow of conversation and respects your dining companions’ time. This approach maintains focus on the dining experience without distractions.
Compliment the Host
If you’re dining at someone’s home, it’s good etiquette to compliment the host on the meal. A simple, sincere acknowledgment of their effort goes a long way in showing appreciation. If you’re dining out, compliment the restaurant’s service staff.
Expressing gratitude enhances the overall experience for everyone involved. Compliments convey thoughtfulness and help foster stronger social connections.
Handle Utensils Correctly
Proper utensil handling is a key component of table etiquette. In the American style, you hold the fork in your left hand while cutting and switch to your right hand for eating.
In the Continental style, the fork remains in your left hand throughout the meal.
