According to a YouGov study, 58 percent of Americans chat with strangers. Again, 76 percent would also address somebody 10 years older as ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ — a level of respect often seen among the British.
It’s a sign of a gap in traditional courtesy that only 5 percent of Americans think it’s good manners for a man to open the door for a woman. If you’re an American, here are 12 British manners you should steal to live a classier life.
Polite Greetings
How we greet people is a sign of politeness, and the British do this well. A simple hello is fine, but a traditional ‘How do you do?’ or ‘Good morning’ does more; it sets a respectful interaction tone.
Many of my acquaintances are Americans who default to casual or rushed conversation; the British take their time and acknowledge other people’s presence in a warm and welcoming way. This improves first impressions and also helps create mutual respect.
Queuing with Patience
Vilification of British habits, such as their almost sacred regard for orderly queuing, is a hallmark of British civility. This can be at a bus stop, in a café, etc.
Debrett says queuing has remained a surprisingly bonding experience for many, and the British are among the best at it, being phlegmatic and patient. In the US, where waiting can incite tension and line cutting, reducing daily conflicts could go a long way.
Understated Compliments
The British compliments are subtly authentic instead of exaggerated praise. Americans, who are typically used to effusive or over-the-top flattery, might learn from this more refined technique.
Perhaps a subtle ‘You’ve done a lovely job’ or ‘That’s quite nice’ tells someone they are appreciated, but nobody’s drowning in compliments.
Mindful Conversations
British social interaction moves swiftly from a small talk cornerstone based on neutral topics such as the weather or the subject of the latest events. The plus to this habit is that it decreases the likelihood of offending others, unlike the general tendency of Americans to plunge headfirst into politics, money, or other divisive matters.
Conversational mindfulness in Britain is devoted to a respectful atmosphere, even for strangers. According to Sage Journals, 15% of adults in Britain have practiced mindfulness, a practice far more common than in the US, where just 2.5% of adults said they have at some point in their lives.
The Art of Apologizing
British people are famous for saying sorry. According to BBC studies, the average Brit apologizes around eight times a day and sees it as a polite gesture that shows respect in social situations.
In comparison, nearly 48 percent of Americans say their apologies are sometimes or rarely sincere. According to Preply, nearly 40 percent of people say receiving an apology with a gift is easier to accept.
Thanking Generously
It’s another British tradition, expressing gratitude that adds to social grace. Thanking a bus driver for your ride or saying thank you after a meal also counts.
And for Brits, small acts of kindness are consistently acknowledged.
Proper Table Manners
British culture revolves firmly around dining etiquette. It’s all about strict rules, about where your cutlery should be placed, about chewing silently, and about elbows never touching the table. There’s a strong emphasis on self-discipline and respect for others at the table.
Many Americans don’t practice British table manners; mastering these manners can only help with more formal dining. According to Etiquette Scholar, people who exhibit the correct dining etiquette are ‘read’ as more competent in a professional setting.
Dressing Appropriately
As a rule, the British dress appropriately, making their clothes appropriate to the formality of the occasion. They are donning morning suits at weddings and settling in smart casual attire for dinners to show respect for the setting.
The Saturday Evening Post reports about 80 percent of Americans now wear business casual or casual to work, and 20 percent say their workplace has no dress code.
Softening Requests
Expressions such as “Would you mind?” or “Could you please?” are basic to British well-mannered discourse, weakening the tone of solicitations and showing sympathy. This contrasts with the sometimes brusque directness of American communication.
According to UCL Discovery, 25 percent of interrogatives and 11 percent of all requests start with the phrase ‘can you please?’ For example, the most frequent interrogative 3-gram in American English, “Could you please? ” occurs in just over 5 percent of interrogative requests and just under 10 percent.
Respecting Personal Space
British etiquette is about respecting personal boundaries and keeping a physical and emotional space in public and private. On the other hand, Americans too often snap right to overt friendliness, leaving others wondering why!
Making social missteps is easy, but adopting a more restrained approach to physical proximity and personal questions will help.
Punctuality as Politeness
Many British manners center around punctuality and respecting others’ commitments and time. This minimizes disruption to reliability.
It is not to be taken literally, but ‘fashionably late’ as a concept is generally tolerated in the US, so it might pay to be punctual.
Avoiding Loudness
This is partly true because Brits can be quiet and subtle, a quality that is prized in public life. This contrasts sharply with the often energetic and loud American way, especially in group settings.
Keeping voice levels down in public spaces is another way to keep a space more calming and prevent the disruption of other people’s relaxation or comfort.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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