13 Things You Should Never Do on a Cruise
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Setting sail on a cruise ship is akin to jumping into a world where the sea’s the limit, and the buffet line is your new best friend. But amidst the sunsets and saxophone solos, a few no-nos could turn your dream vacation into a titanic failure. Fear not, fellow sea explorer, for I have navigated the choppy waters of cruise etiquette to bring you the ultimate list of cruise faux pas.
Don’t Turn Your Cabin Into a Jungle
Bringing plants on board? Really? While turning your cabin into a mini Amazon sounds tempting (who wouldn’t want fresh oxygen?), it’s actually a huge no-no. Besides, isn’t the idea to escape the jungle of your daily life?
Avoid Wearing Heels to the Pool
Fashion over function, always, except when it comes to pool decks. Trust us, those slippery decks are out to embarrass you, and high heels will only aid their cause. Stick to flip-flops or risk performing an impromptu swimwear model splashdown.
Don’t Miss the Safety Drill
Yes, we know, nothing screams vacation like mustering at your assigned lifeboat station. But think of it as part of the cruising charm! Knowing how to wear a life jacket could be useful, like at a specific theme party.
Never Ignore the Dress Codes
There’s a time and place for your beloved Hawaiian shirt – almost every evening on a cruise. But for those special nights? Maybe leave it in the suitcase and dress to impress. You never know when you’ll need to look good for the captain’s selfie.
Don’t Hog the Deck Chairs
We get it—the early bird gets the best spot to toast under the sun. But reservation by a towel? That’s a maritime misdemeanor. Share the sun, folks. There are plenty of UV rays for everyone.
Avoid Overindulging at the Buffet
The buffet is a test of human willpower. Just because you can make a mountain on your plate doesn’t mean you should. Think of the buffet as a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself or risk turning into a beached whale.
Never Forget to Turn Off Your Phone’s Roaming
Want a heart attack when you get home? Leave your phone’s roaming on. Cruise ships and foreign ports love to gobble up data (and your wallet). Do yourself a favor and disconnect. Your social media can wait – the ocean views cannot.
Don’t Be a Loner – Participate!
There’s something magical about making new friends in the middle of nowhere. Plus, it’s the perfect opportunity to craft an exotic backstory. Is that James Bond over by the shuffleboard? No, but you could be mistaken for him.
Avoid Ignoring Local Customs
Remember, you’re not in Kansas anymore when you disembark at exotic locations. Dress respectfully, try a few phrases in the local language, and haggle charmingly, for heaven’s sake. You’re an ambassador of cruising culture!
Don’t Skip on Tipping
Service on board is usually exceptional; show your appreciation appropriately. These crew members are your floating family, after all. Plus, karma on the high seas is a very real thing.
Never Try to Smuggle Booze
The fine art of smuggling onboard liquor has been attempted by many but perfected by none. Save yourself the embarrassment (and potential charges) and indulge in the ship’s offerings. It’s a cruise, not Prohibition.
The Royal Caribbean’s website states that, “Guests who violate any alcohol policies, (over consume, provide alcohol to people under the legal drinking age, demonstrate irresponsible behavior, or attempt to conceal alcoholic items at security and or luggage check points or any other time), may be disembarked or not allowed to board, at their own expense, in accordance with our Guest Conduct Policy.”
Avoid Being “That Person” in Shows
You know who you are – the one who gets a little too involved in the onboard entertainment. It’s great to be enthusiastic but remember; it’s a performance, not a participatory sport. Save your audition for American Idol.
Don’t Forget to Relax
This might be the most egregious mistake of them all. You’re on a floating paradise designed to make you forget all your terrestrial troubles. Take advantage of every peaceful moment, luxurious amenity, and breathtaking view.
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