Visiting someone’s home should feel relaxed and comfortable for everyone involved. Still, every household has its own routines, preferences, and boundaries, and a few seemingly harmless habits can leave a poor impression.
Good guest etiquette isn’t about being overly formal or worrying about every little move. It’s mostly about paying attention, respecting the space you’re in, and making things easier for the person who invited you over.
Anastasia Martel, a certified etiquette expert at The British School of Etiquette, says that being a thoughtful houseguest is a skill that can help you leave a good impression and remain welcome at future gatherings.
Demanding the WiFi Password Right Away
Asking for the WiFi password the moment you walk through the door can make it seem like getting online is your first priority. Give your host a chance to welcome you and offer the password before asking for it yourself.
Related: 12 Simple Ways to Make Every Guest Feel Welcome in Your Home
Walking In With Your Shoes On
Walking into someone’s home without asking about shoes can track in dirt, mud, and other messes from outside. Since many households have a no-shoes rule, simply ask your host what they prefer before heading farther into the house.
YouGov research found that many Americans prefer to remove their shoes at home, but fewer feel comfortable asking guests to do the same. Among the 31 percent of Americans who always take their shoes off, only 26 percent expect their guests to follow suit.
Using Your Phone at the Dinner Table
Scrolling through social media or answering messages during dinner can make your host feel like you’re more interested in your phone than the people around you. Put the phone away or keep it out of sight so everyone can focus on the meal and conversation.
A study published in JMIR mHealth and uHealth found that 110 of 129 participants, or 85.3 percent, reported using a smartphone during meals, with phone use occurring during about one in three meals.
Related: 15 Must-Have Items for Hosting Guests
Entering Private Rooms Without Permission
Walking into a closed bedroom, office, or other private room without an invitation crosses a basic household boundary. Stick to shared spaces such as the living room, kitchen, and bathroom unless your host invites you somewhere else.
Helping Yourself to Food or Drinks
Opening the refrigerator or cabinets and taking whatever you want can put your host in an awkward position. They may have plans for certain foods or drinks, so ask before helping yourself.
Showing Up Empty-Handed
Bringing a small gift isn’t required for every casual visit, but it can be a thoughtful gesture for a dinner invitation or special occasion. Flowers, pastries, wine, or another small item can show your host that you appreciate the invitation and the effort that went into hosting you.
Eating Before the Host Offers
Reaching for food before your host has served it or invited everyone to eat can come across as presumptuous. Wait for the host to offer food or give everyone a clear signal that it’s time to start.
Related: 12 Simple Ways to Make Guests Feel Truly Welcome
Refusing to Try Food the Host Prepared
Turning down a dish without an explanation can make a host feel like their effort wasn’t appreciated. If you have an allergy, dietary restriction, or strong reason for avoiding something, explain it politely, but try a small portion when you can.
Putting Your Feet on the Furniture
Putting your feet on a couch, chair, or table without permission can make you look careless with someone else’s belongings. Keep your feet on the floor unless your host makes it clear that they’re comfortable with you putting them up.
Bringing a Pet Without Asking
Showing up with a pet can create problems if the home has allergies, other animals, young children, or a host who simply isn’t comfortable with pets indoors. Always ask ahead of time rather than assuming your dog or cat is welcome.
National etiquette expert Diane Gottsman says, “It’s OK to bring your pet if the host invited your furry family member.” She also points out that asking at the last minute can put the host in an uncomfortable position, since every household has different preferences.
Leaving the Bathroom Messy
Leaving the toilet unflushed or the sink and counter messy can be embarrassing for both you and your host. Before leaving the bathroom, take a quick look around and leave it clean and ready for the next person.
Related: 15 Things Your Guests Notice When They Enter Your Home
Putting Drinks Directly on Furniture
Placing a cold drink directly on a wooden table or another delicate surface can leave behind water rings or stains. Look for a coaster or ask your host where drinks should go before setting your glass down.
Keeping Your Coat and Hat On Indoors
Keeping your coat and hat on throughout a visit can make it seem like you’re ready to leave at any moment. Taking them off, when appropriate, signals that you’re comfortable and plan to settle in for the visit.
Skipping Handwashing Before a Meal
Failing to wash your hands before eating can be especially unpleasant when everyone is sharing food and serving dishes. Take a quick trip to the sink before the meal and wash up before sitting down.
Criticizing the Home’s Decor
Negative comments about someone’s furniture, decorations, paint colors, or general style can feel more personal than you might expect. If you have nothing kind to say, it’s better to keep the criticism to yourself and compliment something you genuinely like.
Taking Long Phone Calls in Common Areas
A loud or lengthy phone call can pull attention away from the people you’re visiting and make conversation difficult for everyone else. If you need to take an extended call, excuse yourself and move somewhere quieter before returning when you’re finished.
Wearing Too Much Perfume or Cologne
Strong perfume or cologne can bother guests who are sensitive to certain scents or simply prefer lighter fragrances. A small amount is usually enough, especially when you’ll be spending several hours inside someone’s home.
Refusing to Help or Helping Too Much
Never offering to help after a meal can make you seem uninterested in the work your host has done. Offer once, then accept their answer rather than repeatedly insisting if they say they’ve got everything handled.
