The 18 Worst Things You Can Do When Visiting Someone’s House
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Visiting someone’s home is an excellent opportunity to communicate, relax, and be in different surroundings. However, every home is a personal space, with unspoken rules of conduct that dictate life there. Certain behaviors can make someone appear aloof or insensitive. Appreciating the personal preferences of hosts goes beyond the ordinary rules of politeness towards a guest.
Anastasia Martel, the certified etiquette expert at The British School of Etiquette, explains, “Being a perfect and decorous house guest is one of those subtle but indispensable skills which will make sure you always leave a good impression, are always welcome, and get invited to all social gatherings and special occasions.”
Demanding the WiFi Password Forthwith
Asking for the WiFi password immediately shows your host that you’re more excited to connect with the internet than them. This can make a host feel that all they are serving is a venue for you to stay connected online rather than wanting to spend quality time together.
Wait until necessary, or let the host offer the password first.
Shoe Etiquette
Entering a house with shoes on without asking whether it is OK beforehand could bring dirt, mud, or even bacteria, especially if you have been outdoors. Besides possibly dirtying or damaging the floors, it may be against the house’s rules or the host’s cultural expectations.
For many, no shoes are a crucial way to keep clean; therefore, one should always ask if it’s all right to stay in their shoes before advancing deeper into their home.
YouGov Research shows that while most Americans prefer to leave shoes off in their houses, they find it hard to ask the same for visitors. Of the 31 percent of Americans who always take their shoes off, only 26 percent expect the same etiquette from their guests.
Using Your Phone at the Dinner Table
Using your phone at a dinner table- scrolling through social media or responding to messages- can be perceived as impolite to the host. When someone has gone to the effort of preparing a meal, all you can do is pay complete attention to them.
Texting or even glancing at notifications gives you away to your host that you are somewhere else in your head, thus killing the social mood. Instead, keep it aside or stay silent so everyone can focus on the meal and conversation.
A study by JMIR Mhealth Uhealth found that most participants, 110/129, 85.3%, recorded at least one mealtime smartphone use, with an average frequency of 1 in 3 meals where phones were used.
Private Rooms Without Permission
Entry into closed rooms or bedrooms without being taken there is an invasion of the host’s privacy. The bedrooms and study rooms are private, and entering them without being taken there by the owner makes your host feel disturbed and intruded upon.
Stay within areas such as the living room, kitchen, and restroom until your host invites you to do otherwise.
Helping Oneself to Food or Drinks
It is considered intrusive when guests make themselves home by opening the refrigerator or cabinets to help themselves with food or drinks. The host may have specific plans for certain items, and the access assumption disrespects the provider’s role.
A guest should always ask permission and give the host a chance to offer refreshments on their terms.
Arriving Empty-Handed
It may be a sign of ungratefulness to show up at people’s doors without a small gift, especially if it is a formal invitation or an occasion. Small things, such as wine, pastries, and flowers, are gestures indicating that one recognizes and appreciates one’s host and the effort he undergoes.
A small gesture goes a long way in setting a good tone and showing that you appreciate his or her hospitality.
Helping Yourself to Food Before It’s Offered
Reaching for food without the host having served or invited you to eat can be perceived as rude and presumptuous. This is most troublesome if the setting of eating is formal or where there would be a seating arrangement.
Waiting until a host serves or invites them to eat first is just one of those minimum courtesies, recognizing their effort in preparing the meal.
Not Trying Food Prepared by the Host
This will also offend the host since they spent much time preparing something for you. If you have food restrictions or allergic reactions to certain foods, explain nicely, but if not, at least try a little to show appreciation.
This little gesture can make the person feel worthy and respected because they think their effort is valued enough to make you feel welcome.
Putting Your Feet on the Furniture
Putting your feet on tables, couches, or chairs without being asked to —even wearing socks—can be considered inconsiderate. For many individuals, furniture is an investment, and putting your feet on a piece of furniture is seen as sloppy or disrespectful.
Always keep your feet on the floor unless your host indicates it is all right to do otherwise.
Bringing a Pet Without Asking
When the invitation does not include a pet, the host may experience unexpected stress. The home may have allergies, other pets, or small children not used to animals. Even though your pet may be well-behaved, it is always best to check with the host first since not all homes can comfortably accommodate animals.
It’s OK to bring your pet if the host invited your furry family member,” says national etiquette expert Diane Gottsman. “If you have to ask, it puts the host in an uncomfortable position. Every friend has a different comfort level, and it’s important to be sensitive to their feelings and preferences.”
Not Flushing or Cleaning the Bathroom After Use
Leaving the bathroom unflushed or not clean is the worst thing a guest can do. It makes it very awkward-even unsanitary-for the person who follows behind them and gives a wrong impression to the host.
Always check before leaving the restroom that everything is clean and presentable.
Placing Drinks Directly on Surfaces Without Coasters
Water rings or stains can damage furniture when drinks are placed on tables without coasters. You might not even notice them, but it’s always better to ask than place a drink on wood or glass surfaces.
This little act of care will make one consider the feelings of a host about his belongings and show respect for them, depicting attention to minute details.
Wearing a Coat and Hat Inside
If you wear your outdoor clothes indoors, it gives your host the impression that you will not be staying long enough to remove them or that his place is not good enough to enjoy for a while.
Taking off the coat, hat, and scarf signifies that you are ready to settle down and make the most of the visit. It also acts as a cue for the host that his house is warm and inviting enough.
Not Washing Your Hands Before a Meal
Not washing hands before eating or not passing serving utensils could be unsanitary, especially with family-style dining. Washing up before eating shows respect for everyone’s health and comfort and keeps the dining experience clean.
Judging Their Home Decoration
Making unsolicited comments on the host’s decor, even as jokes, gets misconstrued. Much time and effort is put into designing homes, and comments on such matters are often taken personally.
You should keep negative observations to yourself or only comment on the positive aspects if you feel like saying something.
Taking Long Phone Calls in Common Spaces
A lengthy or loud phone call in the common areas bothers others and breaks social harmony. Excuse yourself and have your call outside or to a back or private room without disturbing the energy of the space.
Return as soon as possible to show you appreciate the time with the host and other guests.
Wearing Strong Perfume or Cologne
Wearing overwhelming perfumes is annoying when working closely with anyone and can cause allergic or sensitive reactions. A light application is always best so everyone can enjoy the event and avoid being put off by solid perfumes.
It is gracious to be considerate, thinking scents are a personal commodity of comfort and welfare.
Not Helping or Trying Too Hard to Help
Failure to offer to help, for example, with cleaning up after dinner, may be seen as uncaring; pressing the matter too vigorously can be seen as a nuisance.
It’s polite to offer help once to a host and then graciously accept their positive or negative response to avoid overstepping the boundaries of hospitality. This shows you care and respect their style of hosting.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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