Working from home can be convenient, but one woman is starting to feel like a guest in her own house because of her boyfriend’s work routine. He spends most weekends at her place and has started using her dining room as an office on Monday mornings, leaving her feeling like she has to stay out of his way.
Her boyfriend usually stays from Friday through Sunday. On Monday morning, he sets up in her dining room to write reports, prepare quotes, and take work calls, sometimes staying another night and doing the same thing on Tuesday.
The trouble is that her home is small and open-plan, with the kitchen, dining room, and living area all connected. While he’s working, she feels she can’t use much of the space without disturbing him.
She spends the morning trying not to disturb him
Her boyfriend usually works at the dining table from around 8 a.m. until 1 p.m., and much of his work involves phone calls. That leaves her trying to keep the kitchen noise down and avoid the television while he works.
She said her options often come down to sitting outside on the deck or retreating to the bedroom to watch TV. With unpredictable U.K. weather, spending the morning outside isn’t always realistic, and she just wants to make breakfast, watch a movie, and relax in the home she pays for.
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It starts before he even begins working
The frustration begins before her boyfriend opens his laptop. She explained that she often wakes up hours before she gets out of bed, but when he stays over, she waits until he gets up around 8 a.m. because she doesn’t want to wake him.
Once he’s up, he takes over the main living area to work, leaving her to plan her morning around his schedule. What should be a relaxed start to the day has become a routine where she feels she needs to stay out of his way.
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There is a reason she’s hesitant to complain
She was careful to explain that her boyfriend isn’t a bad partner. He helps with home maintenance and takes care of various car jobs, which makes her wonder if she’s being unfair by asking him to change his work routine.
She also said he can be unaware of how his actions affect others. In this case, he apparently had no idea that working at her dining table was bothering her.
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She wondered if asking him to move was unreasonable
She wasn’t looking to ban him from working at her house altogether. Instead, she wondered whether he could use the bedroom for calls or work outside on the deck when the weather was good, so she could access the kitchen and living room.
She turned to Reddit to ask whether it was reasonable to request a different workspace, especially since her boyfriend contributes so much by helping around the house. She wanted to know whether asking for her own space was fair or whether she was making too much of the situation.
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Most people thought she should be able to use her own home
Many commenters felt that helping with household repairs didn’t give her boyfriend the right to occupy the main living area for hours at a time. They suggested he work from the bedroom, his own home, a coffee shop, or another place where he could take calls without making her feel she had to stay quiet.
Others pointed out how backward the arrangement seemed: he was the guest, yet she was the one changing her routine. She was adjusting where she sat, when she got up, and what she could do in the home she paid for.
Not everyone blamed the boyfriend, though. Since he apparently didn’t know she was bothered, some readers felt they could resolve the issue by talking openly about how they could share the space.
She finally talked to him
After reading the responses, she decided to bring up the problem with her boyfriend. She explained that she enjoys having him over but that they needed to find a better arrangement if he planned to work from her house two mornings a week.
She’d put off the conversation because she wasn’t sure her request was fair. Still, telling him how she felt gave them a chance to work out a solution instead of letting her frustration build.
Would you ask him to work somewhere else?
Having a partner stay over regularly means sharing some space, but spending hours working from the middle of a small, open-plan home can make things difficult. It’s especially frustrating if the person who lives there feels they have to retreat to another room just to enjoy a quiet morning.
Her boyfriend apparently hadn’t realized how much his routine was affecting her until she spoke up. Would you ask your partner to move their workspace, or would you see working from your home as part of sharing your space with someone you love?
