17 Southern Family Gathering Secrets You Never Knew You Needed to Know!
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Family gatherings are treasured events, enabling one to be reunited once again with kith and kin, narrate stories, and deepen relationships. A Group Travel survey found that summer is the most active time for such reunions. 65.8% of the families prefer this season due to good weather, kids not being occupied with school, and the availability of outdoor activities.
However, choosing a date is not all it takes to plan a successful family reunion. Almost half the reunions are planned by family planning committees, and 40% by a single family member, which is quite a burden on one person. Pre-planning is essential since 42% of families begin planning for 13 to 18 months.
Let the Kids Have Their Fun After Dinner
When the people are done eating and the adults clean up, the kids can finally go wild: running around outside, playing games, or abandoning uncomfortable shoes and constrictive clothing.
Much of the decorum is loosened for the younger ones. Now it’s their time to be free, and quite often, their time is the most fun and filled with laughter at family gatherings.
Stay at the Table Until Everyone’s Done
After a big Southern meal, it’s a tradition to linger at the table for hours, chatting and sharing stories. Don’t be the first to get up, especially if you’re new to the family.
Southern families love to talk, and getting up before everyone else finishes their food could be seen as rude or impatient. Enjoy the conversation, and don’t rush the end of the meal.
Fine China or Paper Plates, It’s All Good
In Southern family gatherings, what counts is the food on the table, not the fine table settings. Sometimes, the most delectable dishes are served with fine china; at other times, paper plates are more convenient.
In any case, it is all about the food and the company. However presented, what matters the most is the experience of the meal.
Never Arrive Empty-Handed
It’s considered poor form to show up to a family gathering without bringing something: a side, a dessert, a drink. Everyone’s supposed to get something.
And even if someone says, “Don’t bring anything,” it’s always good to show up with something in hand- a bag of chips, a bottle of sweet tea, or a homemade pie. It’s respectful and appreciative of the gathering.
Wait Your Turn in the Buffet Line
When it comes time to eat, there is usually an unspoken order to the buffet line. Typically, those who cooked or the oldest family member go first.
Newcomers and other younger relatives should wait their turn unless invited to jump ahead. Informal, yet deeply respected in most Southern family settings.
Compliment Them, Even If the Dish Isn’t Your Favorite
You don’t insult the food, even if you are not a fan. If it’s a little overcooked or the flavors are wrong, you will always find something to praise.
A “This looks great!” or “I love the way this dish tastes” will go a long way in appreciating the cook’s effort. Southern hospitality is about just being kind, and that does not exclude the food.
Cleaning Up Is a Group Job
No one in a Southern gathering is expected to clean up alone. Everyone pitches in and loads the dishwasher, wipes down the counters, or takes out the trash. That’s how it should work.
It’s all anyone’s responsibility, and no one’s too important not to pitch in. The communal aspect of cleaning up makes it feel like this meal is a true group effort from start to finish.
Respect Family Traditions About Dishes
Every family has those dishes that are their signature dishes, the ones that the same person brings to every holiday or gathering. The green bean casserole? That’s Aunt Lily’s dish. The macaroni and cheese? That’s Cousin Marie’s specialty.
If you’re new or unsure what to do or bring, it’s best not to step on anyone’s toes with someone else’s dish. Stick to something you know or ask for advice from a family member before picking your contribution.
Expect a Long, Relaxed Gathering
Southern family meals are about much more than just the food. These gatherings are typically long, relaxed affairs that last hours—often stretching well into the evening.
You might start eating at noon and not finish the conversation until after dark. It’s not just about filling your stomach; it’s about bonding with family and enjoying each other’s company.
Embrace the Quirky Dishes
Every Southern meal has those “weird” dishes that everybody waits for. If it’s a gelatinous salad, an odd casserole, or something that doesn’t seem to fit with everything else on the table, it’s part of family tradition.
They may be unusual to outsiders, but they comfort the family, as they have often been passed down through generations. The best thing to do? Take a small scoop, and respect the tradition.
Casual Vibes Over Formal Etiquette
Southern meals have no real formality; they’re about comfort, family, and savoring the moment. There’s always a certain expected politeness, but overall, it’s relaxed.
You might get dressed up for the occasion, but don’t look around for an utterly formal atmosphere- some of your family will still come in their jeans and boots, and that’s okay.
Phones Are Off-Limits
One of the golden rules at Southern family gatherings is that phones are to be put away, especially during the meal. Using your phone during the event is a sign of disrespect.
Family members always want to make sure they are present, chatty, and communicating with no distractions. Therefore, leave your phone in the car or put it away deep in your pocket to avoid the dreaded scolding from Grandma.
Always Offer Extra Help
Within any Southern family gathering, there’s an unspoken rule that everyone lends a hand where needed, and no one is too special not to help. Clear space for the meal, bring out the side dishes and make sure everyone has a drink.
Offering to help means one is willing to contribute to the family effort and share in the everyday experience. It also shows respect for the hard work others have put in, helping to give a sense of belonging and camaraderie.
The Kids’ Table Is for All Ages
Don’t be surprised to find adults sitting at the kids’ table during family gatherings. It is a casual and no-pressure area where conversation flows, and everybody fits in regardless of age.
The kids’ table tends to be the most fun, so it’s common to find grown-ups ending up there when the main table feels too formal or stifled.
Bless the Food Together
Blessing the food is a cherished tradition in Southern family gatherings. Before anyone can start eating, someone should say grace, usually the eldest in the family or someone who can talk very well.
This moment of prayer or gratitude is a unifying gesture, reflecting the family’s shared values and appreciation for their time together. Everyone bows their heads with respect, no matter their different personal beliefs.
Put Differences Aside for the Day
The holiday spirit is unification, so family feuds and disagreements are held at bay during dinners and reunions. Nobody likes to be the harbinger of tension during the occasion.
With or without previous history between certain relatives, everyone tries to make things amiable for harmony and familial unity.
Leftovers Are Fair Game
After a big meal, don’t be surprised if leftovers get passed around and shared. Most of all, there’s no shame in grabbing some extra to take home because it is a dish you love and would want to have the next day.
The casual nature of Southern meals makes asking for a to-go plate pretty low-key- no one minds, and it’s often part of the tradition.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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