18 Manners Kids Don’t Learn Anymore

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“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” – Clarence Thomas. However, how do we define excellent manners, or what do we mean by them? They are described as widely accepted norms of proper behavior in social interactions and all human interactions. As technology and social media continue to dominate our daily lives, it’s becoming important for parents and educators to prioritize teaching children traditional manners.

Saying Please and Thank You

Expressions of gratitude, such as “please” and “thank you,” are less frequent among children. While these words were once staples of polite conversation, they have become less emphasized in daily interactions. Technology, which often limits face-to-face communication, may contribute to this trend.

Writing Thank-You Notes

Writing thank-you notes, once considered an essential part of polite correspondence, is another skill children today are less likely to learn. With the rise of digital communication, fewer children are taught to express gratitude through handwritten notes. This decline reflects a broader shift away from traditional letter-writing practices, once vital to maintaining personal relationships. As a result, thank-you notes have primarily been replaced by quick texts or emails.

Greeting Others Properly

Proper greetings are becoming rare among children. A poll by Child Mind Institute revealed that 65% of teachers feel students lack proper greeting etiquette. “Greeting someone with a handshake or a friendly hello sets the tone for positive interactions,” explains Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, president of the Child Mind Institute.

Making Eye Contact

Many children no longer regularly practice making and maintaining eye contact during conversations. The rise of screen time and digital communication means that kids are less accustomed to engaging directly with others face-to-face. Eye contact is a key part of effective communication, and its decline can lead to weaker interpersonal connections.

Table Manners

With the rise of fast food and on-the-go meals, traditional table manners are often neglected. “Sharing meals is an opportunity to teach kids about proper table etiquette,” says Dr. Anne Fishel, co-founder of the Family Dinner Project. Table manners, such as waiting for everyone to be seated before starting a meal or chewing with mouths closed, are less commonly taught.

Respecting Elders

Respect for elders is another fading manner, with children no longer showing the deference once expected. It was once common for kids to listen attentively and avoid interrupting older people, but this behavior is less prevalent today. With increasing familiarity between generations and a more egalitarian approach to relationships, traditional roles of elder respect are less strictly enforced.

Listening Without Interrupting

Interrupting others during conversations has become more common among children as the emphasis on waiting for one’s turn to speak has diminished. Kids are often encouraged to express themselves freely, which sometimes results in a need for more awareness about respectful communication. A focus on self-expression and individualism has overshadowed the traditional value of listening attentively without interrupting.

Holding the Door for Others

Holding doors open for others, especially elders or women, was once considered a sign of respect and good manners, but this practice is less common today. Modern culture’s emphasis on individualism and self-sufficiency has reduced the focus on chivalrous actions. Children today may not be taught to recognize these small acts of kindness as part of everyday courtesy.

Acknowledging Greetings

Failing to acknowledge a greeting, whether it’s a simple “hello” or “goodbye,” can come off as dismissive and rude. Acknowledging someone’s greeting is a basic form of respect and helps to build positive social interactions.

Apologizing Sincerely

Sincerely apologizing is another manner that is fading. While children may still be told to say “sorry,” the emphasis on understanding the meaning behind the words is sometimes lost. Genuine apologies, which involve recognizing mistakes and expressing remorse, are not always enforced. This can lead to superficial expressions of regret without the depth of understanding needed for meaningful resolution.

Standing When Someone Enters the Room

There was a time when standing up upon someone’s entrance signified respect, especially for men standing when a woman entered the room. This tradition aimed to show appreciation and acknowledgment for the newcomer. Today, this act is rare and often reserved for formal settings. While the gesture is less common, its underlying principle of respect remains essential.

Waiting Their Turn

Waiting for one’s turn, whether in a conversation or a physical queue, is another traditional manner that is less emphasized. Impatience and the desire for instant gratification, often fueled by technology, have reduced the focus on waiting. This can lead to frustration in group settings where taking turns is expected but only sometimes practiced.

Speaking Politely on the Phone

Phone etiquette often needs to be improved in younger generations. The Pew Research Center found that 58% of teens prefer texting over phone calls, which may contribute to poor phone manners. The lack of face-to-face interaction has also diminished opportunities for practicing courteous communication. As a result, children may not learn the importance of politeness in verbal exchanges.

Respecting Personal Space

Awareness of personal space is an area where modern children may struggle. With the rise of online interactions and decreased face-to-face communication, children may not learn the same level of respect for physical boundaries. Understanding personal space is essential for respectful interactions, but it is a skill many kids today do not fully grasp.

Knocking Before Entering

Knocking before entering a room, especially in homes and offices, was a courtesy that respected others’ privacy. This practice has declined, leading to more interruptions and discomfort. Reintroducing this simple gesture can help maintain boundaries and show consideration for others’ space.

Using Formal Titles

Addressing people with formal titles like Mr., Mrs., or Miss was once a common courtesy. However, as social hierarchies become less pronounced, these terms have fallen out of regular use. Many children today are more comfortable with informal language in most situations.

Covering Mouth When Sneezing or Coughing

Failing to cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing is unhygienic and inconsiderate, especially in crowded places. This behavior can spread germs and make others uncomfortable, particularly during heightened health awareness due to pandemics.

Properly Dressing for Occasions

Modesty in dressing, once emphasized in many households, is not always a priority in today’s culture. Children are exposed to various fashion influences, some prioritizing self-expression over traditional modesty. This shift reflects broader changes in societal values, where individual style often outweighs adherence to conventional norms. As a result, the emphasis on modest dressing has faded in many families.

Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.

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