17 Dead Giveaways You’re Dealing with a Pathological Liar
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Most people lie occasionally, with the average person lying closer to 1.08 times daily. Have you ever encountered someone with stories that sound too good (or too strange) to be true? There’s a certain charm to pathological liars, and they can be quite convincing until you know what to look for and their tangled web unravels.
Identifying lies is notoriously difficult; Psychology Today notes that accuracy rates are only 54%, just slightly better than chance. Skilled liars can control their verbal behavior to stay ‘close’ to the truth and tell plausible stories.
Unlike a simple white lie, pathological lying is compulsive and can ruin relationships, trust, and your mental health, too. Here are 17 signs you’re dealing with a pathological liar to keep you safe before their lies cause real damage.
Their Stories Always Sound Too Perfect
Grandiose tales about being the hero, victim, or star of the show somehow play out in the minds of pathological liars. These stories are well-detailed, too flawless — there’s no doubt until you notice an inconsistency hidden between the cracks.
When all the anecdotes read like they came out of a movie, you may be working with someone who warps reality to make an impression. You’ll find the cracks if you ask two or three follow-up questions.
They Lie About the Smallest, Most Unnecessary Things
Have you ever seen someone lie about what they had for lunch or how they spent their weekend when it wouldn’t have made a difference if they’d told the truth? Lying constantly and even making up things about minor details is pathological.
It’s not that they’re trying to keep something big a secret; they often do it just because they can. One of the clearest red flags is someone who refuses to drop the pretense even when they have no reason to lie.
Their Lies Often Change Over Time
One of the hallmarks of pathological liars is that they can’t keep their story straight, especially over time. Their tale might be from last month, but it is now told with new, conflicting details that don’t make sense.
Presented with the evidence to the contrary, they will either continue to lie or make up an even more intricate story. If you catch people changing narratives, you’re probably dealing with someone who never tells the truth.
They’re Masters of Deflection
When dealing with a pathological liar on this level, you are not likely to hear an admission of guilt. They will instead change the subject, turn the table, or declare you the liar.
This tactic takes the focus off them, allowing them to continue peddling their lies without scrutiny. Avoid a dodger of accountability at all costs.
They Show Little to No Guilt
Unlike most people, the pathological liar won’t flinch or squirm when caught in their lie; they shrug it off or spice it up with another lie.
It’s a deep-seated habit of deceit that they are comfortable with and feel no guilt or remorse about. More often than not, their lies are convincing because they are emotionally detached.
They’re Highly Charismatic and Persuasive
Pathological liars are good at appearing charming so that people will like them, making them hard not to trust initially. Since they immediately tell you lies, they grab your attention and use their charm to gain your trust.
When someone is too smooth and likable, pay attention to the details of their stories. Deceit can hide behind a charm.
They Play the Victim to Gain Sympathy
In their stories, pathological liars typically set themselves up as victims, which they leverage for sympathy to control others. Their tales tend to elicit pity, whether it’s a tragic backstory or a string of bad luck.
If someone’s life is always like a soap opera, they may want you to believe and trust their words.
They’re Unbelievably Defensive When Questioned
A pathological liar won’t elaborate even when asked; instead, they will likely grow hostile or defensive. Instead of calmly addressing your concerns, they will lash out, calling you untrustworthy or mistrustful.
It’s an overreaction that shuts down a conversation before you can uncover the truth.
They Often Forget Their Own Lies
Pathological liars are almost always tripping themselves up, keeping track of their web of lies. They might say something one day and then contradict it without even realizing it.
If you point it out, they’ll cover their tracks, deny it, or act as if you misunderstood.
They Have a Pattern of Failed Relationships
Pathological liars break friendships, stain family bonds, and ruin romance. They don’t know how to maintain trust and honesty, so they fall out with everyone closest to them.
A habit of lying could be the reason why someone has a suspiciously rocky relationship history.
They’re Quick to Blame Others
A pathological liar usually doesn’t take responsibility when things go wrong—they’d rather put things on someone else. Mental health experts say this is a way of deflecting personal responsibility and protecting their self-esteem.
This tactic protects their fragile ego and, more importantly, also their lies. Within a short time, you’ll recognize that you’re dealing with a master deflector because they tend to avoid taking responsibility over and over.
They Tell Lies That Are Easily Debunked
A major red flag is if someone lies about things you can quickly verify. Pathological liars will oftentimes tell really blatant lies that can be easily disproven by a quick fact check.
The reason for their lying is compulsive and not calculated.
They Rarely Admit When They’re Wrong
Nevertheless, a pathological liar almost never admits to lying, even when there is no doubt in the face of evidence. Instead, they’ll double down or come up with new lies to explain away the evidence.
They had a habit of refusing to acknowledge the truth in this stubborn way.
They Seem to Lie for No Apparent Reason
Pathological liars’ pointless habit of lying makes them one of the most baffling human beings. Whichever way it goes, their lies seem utterly unnecessary to entertain, to impress, or just a habit.
A sense of compulsive dishonesty separates them from people who just lie sometimes for a reason.
They’re Skilled at Gaslighting
Gaslighting means distorting reality in a way that makes others feel what they’re seeing and feeling isn’t real. The pathological liar is excellent at bringing to question your memory or perception.
They will deny things you are sure they said or did, making it seem as though you are losing your mind. This is a common tool in their arsenal of manipulative tactics.
They Often Overcomplicate Their Lies
Pathological liars often include many unnecessary details and flourishes to make their stories more believable. Of course, the more complex their tale, the less consistent it becomes.
Look for overly intricate narratives; they’re usually trying to hide something.
You Just Can’t Shake the Feeling Something’s Off
You’ll often find that the best tool to detect a pathological liar is your gut instinct. Trust your instincts if you find yourself doubting every story someone tells or are suspicious about someone’s behavior.
Pathological liars are definitely in the business of making you doubt yourself, but deep down, you often know the truth.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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