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Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward others. Narcissists have an insatiable desire for attention, power, and control over others, often at the expense of the people around them.
While narcissists may try to maintain a facade of perfection when in public or around others, their true nature often reveals itself when they think no one is watching. When their mask slips off, they may engage in even more extreme and harmful behaviors than what is seen in public. Here are 15 things narcissists do when no one is watching.
Self-Adoration
In private, self-centered individuals often indulge in excessive self-admiration. They might spend significant time in front of mirrors, taking selfies or admiring their appearance. This behavior stems from their deep-seated need to validate and affirm their perceived superiority.
Manipulating Their Image
Egoists carefully curate their public persona. Behind closed doors, they strategize how to maintain their image, often rehearsing conversations or scenarios to ensure they appear charismatic and successful. They may also meticulously edit photos or stories before sharing them on social media.
Criticizing Others
When alone, self-absorbed individuals frequently resort to harshly criticizing those around them. This behavior can manifest as belittling colleagues, friends, or family members to inflate their ego. They find satisfaction in disparaging others, reinforcing their inflated sense of superiority.
Fantasizing About Success
These people frequently daydream about power, success, and admiration. These fantasies provide an escape from reality and a way to reinforce their grandiose self-image. They imagine themselves in positions of authority and receiving praise and admiration from others.
Secret Behaviors
They often hide behaviors stemming from their belief in superiority and entitlement. These include compulsive shopping to maintain an image, substance abuse to cope with insecurities and infidelity in search of external validation. They rationalize their actions, believing they deserve special privileges, complicating their relationships and creating a cycle of harmful behavior.
Playing the Victim
In private, self-obsessed individuals may cast themselves as victims of circumstance, feeling misunderstood or unappreciated. This self-pity starkly contrasts their public persona of confidence and control. They may rehearse sob stories to use in social situations for sympathy and attention.
Monitoring Social Media
Narcissists often obsessively monitor their social media presence. They check the number of likes, comments, and shares their posts receive and compare themselves to others. This constant need for external validation highlights their fragile self-esteem.
Devaluing Relationships
Behind closed doors, egoists may devalue and dismiss the importance of relationships. They see others as tools for their gain and may fantasize about discarding people who no longer serve a purpose or boost their ego.
Practicing Charm
Narcissists often practice charming and persuasive behaviors alone. They may rehearse speeches, pick-up lines, or ways to manipulate conversations to their advantage. This preparation helps them maintain their facade of charisma in social situations.
Seeking New Sources of Admiration
Narcissists are always on the lookout for new sources of admiration and validation. They may scan dating apps, networking sites, or social gatherings for potential admirers in private. They enjoy the thrill of new conquests and the attention they bring.
Expressing Envy
While they project confidence in public, these individuals often feel intense envy in private. They compare themselves to others and envy those who seem more successful or admired. This envy can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment.
Scheming Revenge
Selfish people may privately plan revenge when they feel slighted or wronged. They hold grudges and take pleasure in planning how to undermine or hurt those who have crossed them, even if the perceived slight is minor.
Rationalizing Their Actions
They often rationalize their manipulative or unethical behaviors. They convince themselves their actions are justified because they are superior or deserving. This self-justification allows them to maintain their grandiose self-image.
Disregarding Boundaries
In private, self-centered individuals often disregard others’ boundaries. They may invade personal spaces, read private messages, or snoop through belongings. They feel entitled to access any information or resource they desire.
Suppressing Insecurities
Despite their outward confidence, egoistic people harbor deep insecurities. In private, they struggle with feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure. They go to great lengths to suppress these insecurities, often through self-aggrandizement and denial.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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