14 Things We Should Stop Telling Boys About Masculinity

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Cultural beliefs and societal expectations shape what it means to be masculine. Society often sends subtle messages to boys that restrict their ability to express themselves freely by imposing narrow definitions of masculinity. These views often promote the idea that boys must be tough, unemotional, or aggressive, pressuring them to act in ways that do not align with their true selves.

We should encourage boys to embrace a wider range of emotions and qualities. Instead of focusing on outdated ideas of masculinity, we can help them understand the value of kindness, understanding, and vulnerability. It is time to rethink our messages and support a healthier view of masculinity, so they grow into well-rounded individuals.  

Masculinity Is About Physical Strength

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Society often equates masculinity with physical strength, promoting the idea that boys must be strong and muscular to be considered “manly.” This narrow definition pressures boys to focus excessively on their physical appearance and abilities, potentially leading to body image issues and an unhealthy obsession with fitness.

Vulnerability Is a Sign of Weakness

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Boys are often told to hide their emotions and toughen up. However, this mentality can lead to suppressing feelings and difficulties expressing themselves. Instead of teaching them to push away vulnerability, encourage them to embrace it as a sign of strength.

It’s Not Okay to Cry

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The notion that boys should not show emotion, especially by crying, is deeply ingrained in many cultures. This belief teaches boys to suppress their feelings and be ashamed of expressing themselves. Let them know it’s okay to cry and show emotion, as it is a healthy way to process feelings.

Boys Will Be Boys

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This phrase often implies that boys will behave in a certain way because of their gender, excusing harmful behavior. Instead of excusing inappropriate actions, we should hold them accountable for their actions and teach them the importance of respect and consent.

Aggression Is Natural

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Society often glorifies aggressive behavior in boys, promoting the idea that it is a natural part of masculinity. However, we should teach them that there are healthier ways to handle conflicts and express their emotions.

Boys Don’t Play With Dolls

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Toys are often gendered, with dolls seen as a “girl’s toy.” This mentality limits boys’ creativity and emotional development by discouraging them from playing with toys that promote nurturing and empathy. Encourage all children to play with whatever toys they enjoy without judgment or restrictions based on their gender.

Real Men Don’t Show Affection

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Labeling emotions as feminine diminishes the value of emotional intelligence for all. Boys should learn that emotions are human, not gender-specific. Encouraging affection shows strength and is crucial for healthy relationships.

Men Don’t Need Help

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The idea of men being self-sufficient and not needing help can lead to toxic masculinity, causing boys to struggle with asking for support when needed. Boys need to know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a strength that shows self-awareness and the ability to seek guidance.

Boys Are Always Rough

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The stereotype that boys should be rough and physically active can limit their ability to express themselves in gentler, more creative ways. This belief can pressure boys into behaviors that might not align with their true personalities, discouraging them from engaging in activities perceived as less masculine, such as art, music, or quiet play.

Men Shouldn’t Show Fear

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Boys may be told to hide their fears and act fearless to fit into societal norms of masculinity, but fear is a normal human emotion and should not be suppressed. Acknowledging and discussing fears can help them learn how to overcome and develop resilience.

Men Don’t Do Household Chores

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Gender roles often dictate that household chores are solely a woman’s responsibility. This belief can limit boys’ understanding of the importance of domestic work and create a divide in gender expectations within households. Encouraging all children to participate in household tasks teaches them valuable life skills and promotes gender equality.

Masculinity Is About Dominance

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The idea of men being dominant over others perpetuates toxic masculinity and harmful power dynamics. We should promote healthy relationships based on mutual respect and understanding instead of dominance.

Boys Should Be the Breadwinners

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Traditional gender roles often dictate that men should be the sole breadwinners of a household. This expectation can pressure boys to prioritize financial success over other essential aspects of life, such as relationships and personal fulfillment.

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