10 Secrets Marie Kondo Doesn’t Want You to Know About Decluttering

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The ways of Marie Kondo decluttering have been all over the world and have brought the idea of sparking joy to our lives. She teaches cleaning out closets and tidying up living rooms to feel like a life changing experience. But what if there are other things about decluttering that she doesn’t teach that are more secret?

There is more to Kondo’s clean-cut tidying method than meets the eye: beneath the surface you’ll find alternative approaches and subtle contradictions. These are ten ideas, which might just complement or even add a twist to your tidying journey.

It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect

After decluttering, we all feel like we have to have the most immaculate organized home, but perfection is a myth. Marie Kondo’s method can make it seem like everything has to be in perfect order, but, unfortunately, not everyone lives that way. Messy drawers, imperfect shelves, and a few stray socks that never seem to go home, that’s real life. Embrace the imperfect! Sometimes “good enough” is enough to feel relaxed and comfortable.

Decluttering Is Emotional and That’s Okay

Marie’s method is to keep only the things that ‘spark joy’ — which always assumes we know exactly how each item makes us feel. Decluttering however, brings with it guilt, nostalgia, and even a fear of letting go. Sentimental attachments often stem from deep seated emotional needs. Don’t throw something out just because it doesn’t seem joyful at first. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, and allow yourself to have your time.

You Don’t Need to Throw Out Your Gifts

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One of the decluttering guidelines is to throw away things you don’t use, even gifts. According to Kondo, gifts have ‘fulfilled their purpose’ even when they’re never used. Some gifts are relationships or memories that aren’t easily replaced. Aunt Susan’s teapot might not be the one you’d choose yourself, but that doesn’t mean you’re a decluttering failure. You get to decide what remains based on what you give it meaning for, not its function.

Minimalism and Decluttering Are Not the Same Thing

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Marie Kondo’s method tends to be a little minimalistic, but minimalism and decluttering are not the same thing. Minimalism is a lifestyle choice, decluttering is just the process of clearing unnecessary things. Having a decluttered home doesn’t mean you have to give up your cozy collection of books, candles, or whatever else speaks to you. Tidiness is not the same as bare walls, don’t get rid of things that really add value to your life.

Decluttering Doesn’t Happen Overnight

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You might watch Kondo’s show and think that your home should be transformed in a weekend. Real life decluttering is like a marathon not a sprint. According to Professional Organizer, Regina Lark, the average American home has 300,000 things, so that’s a lot to declutter. Don’t overwhelm yourself, instead start with one room, or even just a drawer. Progress over perfection!

You Don’t Have to Follow Categories

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Tidying by category, not location, is one of Marie’s core principles. In other words, you must gather all your clothing, from your entire home, into a single location and sort through it all. That’s fine, but for some, this can be a source of unnecessary stress, especially when you have a busy life or a small space. If it’s easier for you to organize rooms, go for it! Wear it in your own rhythm, there is no one size fit all here.

Decluttering Can Be Seasonal

The way you declutter should change based on the needs and preferences you have during the year. One major overhaul may be suggested by Marie Kondo’s method, but doing smaller, seasonal ‘refreshes’ can keep your space dynamic and clutter free. Decluttering with each season is helpful to many people, especially those in colder climates. That something might not spark joy right now doesn’t mean it won’t be appreciated at some other time of year.

It’s Okay to Have a “Maybe” Pile

Marie Kondo is known for her “keep or discard” philosophy, and sometimes that’s too black and white. A ‘maybe’ pile gives you the chance to reevaluate items when you’re not as sentimental. Set aside items for a month or two before taking a final decision. It will give you some breathing room, and lessen the risk of decluttering regrets. After some time, if it still feels unnecessary, you know it’s time to let go.

Kids (and Pets) Don’t Follow the Rules

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If you have kids or pets, you know a neat house is a pipe dream. Kondo doesn’t always categorize kids’ toys, pet supplies, and their inevitable messiness into her strict categories. Instead of being determined to have a home that’s always spotless, go for a ‘managed chaos’ mindset. Having a few bins for toys or a shelf for pet supplies is fine, as decluttering doesn’t mean taking away joy, and pets and kids certainly bring that in spades.

If You Like “Stuff”, You’re Not Failing

Marie’s method has a sort of a spiritual appeal, which says that decluttering can make you a more simple and meaningful life. Not everyone is stressed by “stuff.” That’s fine if you love knick knacks, collections, or things people think are unnecessary. You want to make a home feel like your own personal retreat and not a showroom.

Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.